Seasons and people

How the seasons can change the countryside. These 2 pictures were taken about 3 months apart at the same spot. Each is beautiful in it's own way, although they are totally different.

Fascinating. And relieving. There is something calming in the changing of the seasons. It gives live a rhythm. A purpose. 

You always know that when summer is passed, autumn starts. Then winter. Then spring again. Nothing can change that. 

No wars can prevent the snow from falling and covering up the bodies and destroyed buildings. No sadness can keep the trees from budding in spring. 

No passed love, settled into something different and deeper, can keep the summer from heating up the lands. Drying up the grass...

Seasons change the world. 

So do people. 

Seasons change. 

Do people?

It's around that time...

Why do I always post at 11pm? Oh yeah. Right. Because I'm terribly tired, but just don't want to go to bed.

Today I thought about a problem with 2 parts: My love life.

Part I: I am romantic at heart. I believe that I will find someone. You will ask what's the problem with that? The problem is that I got kind of picky... I just don't want to settle on someone who is allright instead of someone who makes me weak in the knees. And no, I did not mean it like that.

Part II: I am a misanthrope. I don't like clubs, I rarely enjoy pubs, I try to avoid aggregations of human beings. The problem here is that I don't really meet a lot of new people AND the problem is that a guy who could be right for me also doesn't like to go out where many people are.

You might say: Well if you find a guy in the middle of nowhere and he is just right, then you can rightly assume that it's fate. Great. Just rub it in won't you?

Now we come to the third part of the problem (I know I said there are 2, but the 3rd is kind of a result of the other 2). It has worked before. And that's the main catch. How can I rationally tell my brain and my character traits to change when it has worked before?

Of course, the chance of that happening again are very slim, but I'd rather make great new friends and talk to people and be happy doing that than being with someone just to be with someone. That wouldn't be fair to him and it would kill me. Let's face it, that's the main reason. I'm selfish that way.

This sounded like fun :)

I stole this from Adam's blog. God only knows where it started ;)

"grab the book closest to you. go to page 56. find the 5th sentence. write that sentence in the text box."

Ok... mine is:

Had I a mighty gun

I think I'd shoot the human race

And then to glory run!

From the complete poems of Emily Dickinson. Wow, that's a strong statement...

Questionaire

I stole this from Mememolly and Amazingphil and Charlie. And it took almost 45 minutes to fill this out!

1. What’s your name?

Nicholas. My friends call me Nichi, because there's a sign next to my room at home made by my sister. She wasn't that great in crafting so she ran out of space at Nich. Thank God she at least put an "i" at the end.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?

Blue jeans, white T, thin sweater.

3. Last thing you ate?

Pumpkin soup. Weird... but true.

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?

Don't really know. I like to try stuff. Walmart?

5. I say Shotgun, you say:

Why?

6. Last person you hugged?

Collegue at her birthday.

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?

Possibly. Probably the wrong sex though.

8. Would you date anyone you met online?

Sure. You get to know people better online than in real life anyway.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:

My hands.

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?

A re-modeled mill on the side of the river (d'uh).

11. Who is your best friend?

Painful topic. Next plz.

12. What time of the day is it?

11pm

13. Who/What made you angry today?

I don't get angry often... didn't get angry today.

14. Baseball or Football?

Excuse me?

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?

Yes.

16. Favorite type of Food?

Deserts. Yum.

17. Favorite holiday:

Christmas, of course!

18. Do you download music:

Legally: often. Illegally: only if I can't get it legally.

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?

I only wear my socks once before washing them. So I guess that's a "yes".

20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?

Totally unacceptable even if you do speak Chinese.

21. Would you date the person that posted this?

Damn gotcha left wing liberal media tricked me!

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?

No. I feel sad now.

23. Do you love anyone?

I love many people :) but not just anyone, I'm a snob that way.

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?

I can't really wear contacts for a period of several hours, because my eyes start burning... so if you think red eyes are sexy then yes. I also really like my eye colour. It changes with light and mood.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?

Omg. No. I'm terrified of heights.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?

No. But I think I might do that.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?

Yes. Yes. Unfortunately yes. I think I once made a video blog about that.

27. How many pets do you have?

None. I stick to plants after my dog died.

29. Have you met a real redneck?

I was in Texas. That was a "yes", if you didn't notice.

30. How is the weather right now?

Cold and clammy and actually quite dark.

31. What are you listening to right now?

iTunes library. Right now: Elliott Smith - Don't Go Down.

32. What is your current favorite song?

Hmm.... Field below. Regina Spektor.

33. What was the last movie you watched?

Hanami - cherry blossoms. Best movie I've seen this year. (Well... this one and Wall-E).

34. Do you wear contacts?

Try to avoid it.

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?

Yoga class.

36. What are you afraid of?

Many things. Among them clowns, masked people, and darkness. Pretty generic stuff.

37. How many piercings have you had?

0

38. What piercings do you want?

0

39. What’s one thing you’ve learned this year?

Love hurts.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?

We don't have a starbucks where I live. But I do like the soy pancakes :)

42. Have you ever fired a gun:

Air rifle many many years ago. I hate guns.

43. Are you missing someone?

Many. Many. Many people that I haven't even met yet.

44. Favourite TV show?

Buffy. Can't do anything about it :) and don't want to.

45. Do you have an obession with WoW?

I play sometimes. Obsession? Nope. I was obsessed during a part of the summer of '05. That's way over.

47. Has anyone said you look like a celebrity?

People who look like be don't become famous. Although I went to a hat party last year and people said I looked like Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain. I thought that was kinda ironic.

47. What celeb do you look like?

Phew... a young Timothy Hutton I guess. Part of the reason Ordinary People threw me for a loop.

48. Who would you like to see right now?

Not really in the mood (or clothes) to meet people, but there are several people in other countries I'd like to see right now. And Doris.

49. Favorite movie of all time?

Can't decide. Harold & Maude is up on the list for sure. So are many others. Tonari no Totoro!

50. Do you find yourself loved?

Yes.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t suppose to?

All the time. Honestly. All. The. Time.

52. Favorite smell?

Lemon blossoms.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?

Sugar! :D

54. What’s something that really bugs you?

Many things. Nothing major though... Ok. Maybe dirty cutlery. Weird, I know.

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?

He has created some of the most amazing songs ever. Now he's just crazy. So No, I don't like him. I like some of his old music though.

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?

Neither. King fries if you force me.

57. What’s your favorite perfume?

L'eau d'Issey

58. Favorite baseball team?

Basewhat?

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?

Don't know what that is.

60. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep?

maybe 40h? I've had insomnia in the past though... so I've had like 20h of sleep in a week.

61. Last time you went bowling?

This spring. I despise bowling. And I suck at it. Not connected though.

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?

In a coffin. New coffin though. And not closed. God, I'm weird. Don't judge me.

63. Who was your last phone call?

Some collegue today... we all talk over the phone all day for a few seconds at a time.

64. Last time you were at work?

Few hours ago.

64. What is the closest orange object near you?

The complete poems of Emily Dickinson has an orange back cover and lies on my desk right now... does that count?

Courage.

What is courage? For me, courage begins with thinking something others dare not. But real courage needs to be expressed. Courage is following your dreams no matter where they take you. Courage is telling someone to shut up when he's ignorant, racist, hating. Courage is allowing yourself to be who you are, which can be the most frightening thing of all.

Standing up to yourself and for yourself should be mandatory. Should be told at schools. We meander through life. Afraid of who we are. Ignorant of who we could be, if we let ourselfs.

Courage is dreaming. Dreaming big.

Courage is this poem of Günther Eich. Maybe you'll find a translation somewhere...

www.gedichte.vu/?wacht_auf.html

It's Sunday evening and what did I accomplish this weekend? Relaxation. Well... if relaxation is an accomplishment. I didn't work. I don't know... I can't really bring myself to work on the weekend, when I've worked the whole week.

I thought a lot about death and about money the last few days... both not really pleasant topics, but what can you do - you have to deal with both.

I think I will make a video about death soon. It seems appropriate, but I don't really know why.

That happens quite often recently. I know stuff, but I don't know where I know it from. Or I can tell, if something is right and works, but can't tell you, why I know that. Strange. Just when I thought that I couldn't possibly be any stranger.

I hope that you guys had a pleasant weekend and are already in the christmas spirit. I think I still need some time for that. And I don't have any gifts yet! Don't remind me.

I really need to get my online life in order. All those pages. Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Blogspot, Homepage, YouTube... just to mention a few. I need to sort out, which ones are important to me and polish my profiles and I need to cancel those that I don't really use/want to use.

Take care.

I'm baaack (or was I really gone?).

Sooo... I might reactivate this blog.

I know, I know. I told you guys that I would do my own weblog and I did (!), but I miss the interactions of blogspot. Follow people and stuff... So yeah. I'm back. Are you excited?

I'd really like to import all of my blogs that I did in the last few months into this blog, but I have no idea how to do that. Meh. Let's try and see and find out ;)

Real blog entry probably today. Be excited!