Friday 29 May 2009

The shocking view from the mountain top

I had a very freightening experience today. From the outside, you couldn't see anything out of the ordinary... I was sitting in front of my laptop, headplugs in, staring at the screen. What actually happened was this and I will try to recreate my actions here:

- I was on YouTube (I know... I should have been working, but hey I don't smoke so I take YT breaks) and watching Taylor Swifts video to You belong with me. I know, don't judge me and believe me, it gets worse.
- I saw the cute guy in the music video and thought... didn't he play in the HM movie (which I haven't seen. Honestly)? And of course he was, I'm rarely wrong, when things like that are concerned.
- I went to see the trailer for the HM movie.
- I read something in the comments below the trailer about the song "The climb"
- I remembered Miley singing this song dreadfully on American Idol
- I laughed
- I looked up "The climb" on YouTube
- I watched the official music video
- I cringed at the awful quality of the video (especially considering that I had just seen the masterpiece that is Lady GaGa's video to Paparazzi. I mean, hello?)
- I looked at Miley and listened to her and...
-... she got to me.

There was a definite moment when she was singing about there will always be another mountain, blabla *insert random christian rock lyric here* when I felt so moved and inspired. In that moment I was actually moved to do something, to accomplish something in my life, to use my talents to achieve something greater than myself (when usually I only want to nap and people to give money to me).

I know that I can be influenced easily by music, moved into every direction... but this was shocking. Miley Cyrus for Pete's sake. Miley Cyrus...

You can probably tell that this is still haunting me, but what can you do.

Final thought: Maybe Miley is talented after all. *goes off in shame to watch the video again*

Lyrics of the day: A Pensieve Full of Unrequited Love by The Mudbloods, which unfolds it's beauty only to Harry Potter fans, I'm afraid.

I would spy
on you during playtime.
You would fly
From the swing into the sky.
Make a turn
Land with both feet on the ground.
So I told you
how you do this.
That's when I knew
This is my wish.
For you

I wish you peace and love and happiness in everything you do.
Afraid that everywhere you go someone will be in love with you.
And I know that if you'd stay within these loving arms of mine,
That every single one of these dreams would come true.

You outgrew me,
had a baby.
There's a prophecy.
Says you may have birthed the one
who'll defeat him
He who'll not be named.
So I beg him
And ask how/all this the same
Please protect her,

I wish you peace and love and happiness in everything you do.
I pray that everywhere you go someone will be in love with you.
And I know that if you stay within these loving arms of mine,
That every single one of these dreams will come true.

As I lay here,
blood rushing out of my head,
give my memories
to a boy with scar on head.
Your son
Protected him since he was young
And as I'm dying,
I look for one last time.
Into this face,
and into your eyes

I wish you peace and love and happiness in everything you do.
I pray that everywhere you go someone will be in love with you.
And I know that if you'd stay within these loving arms of mine,
That every single one of these dreams would come true.

Thursday 28 May 2009

I'm on my way

One thing I like about photographs is that you don't really know the surroundings. You see the picture and try to recreate the situation in your mind that produced it, but the only information you have is in that picture. You cannot possibly know that it was f-ing cold when I took that picture of Notre Dame 2 months ago. Or that it was night and pitch black (well maybe you could guess that). You don't know that I was with people that I like and with one particular boy that I have a crush on (no news there). You don't know how it felt to be in Paris at that particular night (only if you read my blog a few weeks/months back). You only have the picture and everything else, all blanks get automatically filled by your brain. That way, everyone looks at a photograph in a different way, sees a different picture.

The same with people. You don't know what their deal is. You just see their appearance, you can hear what they are saying, see what they are doing, but we are all products of our past. You cannot possibly know why someone does something, says something. You only see a fragment, a facet of their self and fill in the blanks to complete your picture of that person. That way, everyone sees a different person when they look at you. And noone sees you. Except yourself when you look in a mirror. That's why looking at yourself in a mirror can be such a freightening experience. Just do that now. Take a chance. Go to a mirror and look at yourself. Your face, your eyes. And don't look descriptively, look deeper. How do you look. Do you look happy, sad? What feelings show in your face and your eyes. What you find there might surprise you, because normally, we don't look at ourselves like we want to know ourselves. We look like an outsider. How much do I weigh, how muscular, slender am I, where do I have spots, where do I have wrinkles... we don't ask ourselves how we are. If there's happiness in our eyes or laughter in our smiles.

But honestly, if we don't ask this, who else does? If we don't know how we feel... who else could?

Boy, this post went in a completely different direction than anticipated. Oh well.

I hope this post finds you well and happy, take care. <3

Lyrics of the day: Le festin by Camille (and because I'm so nice - with English translation ;)

Les rêves des amoureux sont comm’(e) le bon vin
Ils donn(ent) de la joie ou bien du chagrin
Affaibli par la faim je suis malheureux
Volant en chemin tout ce que je peux
Car rien n’est gratuit dans la vie

L’espoir est un plat bien trop vite consommé
A sauter les repas je suis habitué
Un voleur solitaire est triste à nourrir
A un jeu si amer je n’peux réussir
Car rien n’est gratuit dans…

La vie… Jamais on ne me dira
Que la course aux étoiles; ça n’est pas pour moi
Laissez moi vous émerveiller et prendre mon en vol
Nous allons en fin nous régaler

La fêt(e) va enfin commencer
Sortez les bouteilles; finis les ennuis
Je dresse la table, de ma nouvell(e) vie
Je suis heureux à l’idée de ce nouveau destin
Une vie à me cacher et puis libre enfin
Le festin est sur mon chemin

Une vie à me cacher et puis libre enfin
Le festin est sur mon chemin


English lyrics:

Dreams are to lovers as wine is to friends
Carried through lifetimes, (and) spilled now and then
I am driven by hunger, so saddened to be
Thieving in darkness; I know you’re not pleased
But nothing worth eating is free

My hope is a banquet impatiently downed
Impossibly full, now I’ll probably drown
Many thieves’ lives are lonely with one mouth to feed
If giving means taking, I’ll never succeed
For nothing worth stealing is…

Free at last; won’t be undersold
Surviving isn’t living; won’t eat what I’m told
Let me free, I’ll astonish you; I’m planning to fly
I won’t let this party just pass me by

The banquet is now underway, so…
Bring out the bottles; a new tale has spun
In clearing this table, my new life’s begun
I am nervous, excited; (oh) just read the marquee!
A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me

A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me

Sunday 24 May 2009

On a day like today

Where to start... I went to Berlin for 4 days to visit my sister (as you already know). What I also did was meet up with two fellow Youtubers. I've never met YouTubers before, so I was happy to meet Kiwi and Kerstin. We went for Coffee and then a little bit of shopping. I got a fridge magnet for my sister and 2 pairs of underpants for me (powder-blue and purple, if you must know). It turns out that Youtubers are actually like normal people. Except they know what I'm saying when words like "subs" come out of my mouth. Fun times all around :)

My family then prepared a delicious dinner for me, my sis, my parents, my aunt and cousin. It was all very pleasant ;)

So today I was driving home from work and I realized how much I miss a "significant other" (gosh how I loathe this term) in all the little things in life. I was singing along as I always do, because if I don't sing, I fall asleep and we all know that this wouldn't be good. And as I was singing, I realized how nice it would be to have someone to sing along with. I think this makes a nice metaphor for my situation. I would like to have someone to sing along with in my life.

I wondered how I might look from the outside. I normally don't think about what others think of me, but today I actively thought about it. How do others perceive me? Who do they think I am? I am ok-looking (on good days), I am intelligent enough to hold a conversation (if I'm not too nervous, I cannot do small talk for the life of me - yes, I'm a lousy date), I earn enough money to not have to live on the street, I have some sense of fashion and music... Ok, many others also have these things, but I'm not overly repulsive, am I?
So these people (whoever they are)... if they see all these things... what do they think? Do I seem happy? Do I seem to have a plan for my own life? Do I seem to know what I'm doing? Because to be honest, I'm not, don't have, don't know.

I've had the fortune of many things falling into my lap, but what do I really know? Nothing. Not really.

A few weeks ago, I was driving in a car with my boss and said (may I remind you that I suck at small talk) that I always wanted to be a privatier, living off my money without having to work. *pause* yes, I actually told my boss that I don't want to work, but would rather live off my money *resume* and he bluntly told me that this would be a waste of talent. He actually thinks I'm talented at what I'm doing. Now this is the point where I'm rolling over the floor laughing (on the inside), because what does he know? He thinks THIS is talented? The degree of talent I present in my job is such a small fraction of real talents hidden deep deep beneth my lazy exterior that it seems insignificant to me.

Ok... I'm doing it again. I'm sitting here, listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Sia and let all my thoughts flow onto the screen. I'm sorry for that.

I'll talk to you soon (tomorrow diving - yay for cute guys in the shower!), take care my friends.

Lyrics of the day: I need to be in love by the Carpenters

The hardest thing I've ever done
Is keep believing
There's someone in this crazy world
For me
The way that people come and go
Thru temporary lives
My chance could come and I might never know

I used to say "No promises,
Let's keep it simple"
But freedom only helps you say
Good-bye
It took a while for me to learn
That nothin' comes for free
The price I've paid is high enough for me

(*) I know I need to be in love
I know I've wasted too much time
I know I ask perfection of
A quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that's
What I'll find

So here I am with pockets full
Of good intentions
But none of them will comfort me
Tonight
I'm wide awake at four a.m.
Without a friend in sight
Hanging on a hope but I'm alright

Friday 22 May 2009

Just because I'm gone, doesn't mean I'm not here

The internet is a place without the necessary limitations of time and space. I'm in Berlin now, but for all you know, I could be at home, in Timbuktu, looking at the tower of Pisa, whatever. I could post this now or let it be scheduled to post it tomorrow. I could write it today and post it in a month or have written it a month ago and post it today. The result for you would be exactly the same, it being this article (?) blog post. I love the possibility of bending time and space in the virtual realm.

So I am in Berlin now (see pic above ;) and it's great. I mean... it took forever to get here due to full highways etc, but I'm here now and that's what counts. Currently I'm at my sister's and my parents are also here, we will meet my aunt and 2 cousins tomorrow evening for dinner, it will be a new kind of reunion in Berlin ;)

Here, you can still feel the 45 years of separation everywhere you go. In the old and rotten buildings that still stand here and there, in the historic places where little signs remind you that this was the place where someone got shot for wanting to get out of a country. It already seems like ages ago, but it's not. Only 20 years ago, people were not allowed to live their lives as they saw fit in our modern society. No matter what people try to think nowadays, no matter what films try to tell you about the DDR, it was a dictatorship. And no matter how much we might complain that we have to build up 2 countries at once, because 45 years of socialism brought one half to ecological disaster and economical bancruptcy, we are still very, very happy that our country is whole again. The younger people can't remember how the country looked like on the map when it was divided and maybe that's for the best? We're not supposed to think in the terms "west" and "east" anymore, but most of the people >25 still do. We will grow together again, but it will take time. No 45 years, but time.

In other news, I saw the first episode of "Glee" yesterday and I was enthralled by the campness and the one-liners. Will it be the show with the best actors, arcs, special effects? Definitely not. Will it provide entertainment with musical songs and concious campness? Oh yes. I'm a sucker for fun entertainment, but let's be honest. Who isn't.

I could just keep writing and writing, because I tend to jump from one topic to the next and just keep babbling, but I'll stop now ;)

I'll talk to you guys soon and take care.

Lyrics of the day: Oats we sow by Gregory and the Hawk.

Someday i'll toss all your presents
And bury the letters left unsent
Cause it's bad to do what's easy
Just cause it's easy
And i wanna do what pleases me but i can't


The road, she'd roll round the side of the mountain
With nowhere to go
But the heart, we know, 
When it's needin' it's careenin' toward bein' alone

Someday i'll find the mind to mend it
And make dry these eyes i've gotten wet
Cause it's bad to do what's easy just cause it's easy
I wanna do what pleases me but i can't

The crow, he'd mow half the grass on the knoll
With nowhere to go
But the heart, we know, 
When it's lovin' it's leanin' toward bein' alone

The oats we sow, 
They could seed on forever with nowhere to grow
But the heart, we know, 
When it's askin' it's exact twin it will not be alone

Monday 18 May 2009

Splitting


Ehm... yes. You already know about my obsession with sky/cloud pictures. Nothing new there.

I have been a bit on the philosophical side in the last few posts, so let's just talk a bit shall we? What's going on with you guys? What's going on with me? Oh well... not too much. I'll spend Thursday-Sunday in Berlin with my sis and it's gonna be a lot of fun :) What else... I'm getting so exhausted after 5-6 months without a vacation that I get almost nothing done during the day. It's sad, but true. Also, I keep getting the feeling that I should just leave here and travel around the world. Just fly wherever I want to, live there, make some money as a barista or give piano lessons, then fly on. I just need to get away from people.

One small philosophical question that just occurred to me. Is it ok to be an asshole, if you're a genius? I just thought of that because I read a small article today about Karl Lagerfeld and what an asshole he is, if you cross him. This guy is a mad genius... does that make it ok to be mean? I'm just asking...

Take care and I'll see you soon :)

Lyrics of the day: Anything goes by Ella Fitzgerald (well... by Cole Porter of course)

Times have changed,

And we've often rewound the clock,

Since the Puritans got a shock,

When they landed on Plymouth Rock,

If today, any shock they should try to stand,

Steada' landing on Plymouth Rock,

Plymouth Rock would land on them.


In olden days a glimpse of stockings,

Was looked on as something shocking,

Now heaven knows,

Anything goes.


Good authors too who once knew better words,

Now only use four-letter words,

Writting prose,

Anything Goes.


The world has gone mad today,

And goods bad today,

And blacks white today,

And days night today,

When most guys today,

That women prize today,

Are just silly jigalo's.


So though I'm not a great romance,

I know that I'm bound to answer,

When you propose,

Anything goes.


The world has gone mad today,

And goods bad today,

And blacks white today,

And days night today,

When most guys today,

That women prize today,

Are just silly jigalo's.


So though I'm not a great romance,

I know that I'm bound to answer,

When you propose,

Anything goes,

Anything goes.

Sunday 17 May 2009

Movie genres

I took this picture in Texas on a (surprisingly hot) October afternoon 2008. It turned out quite nicely... Texas is actually a lot greener than I imagined it to be. In my mind there was a lot of sand and oil wells and stuff. I guess you never stop learning.

Today, I wanted to talk to you about movie genres and their relation to real life. I thought about that while reading Maureen Johnson's "The key to the golden firebird" where May says "Sorry for the drama". There are many genres. Some of them are Drama, Comedy, Romantic Comedy, Thriller, Horror, Slasher, SciFi, Fantasy (those last two in combination with some others)... but let's be honest. Which ones relate to life?

Where does life happen? Is it Comedy? Come on. Imagine Wedding Crashers. Does that relate to your life? RomCom? Does Notting Hill happen in real life? Sadly not. We can hope though... but it mostly doesn't. SciFi and Fantasy? Ehm... nope. Slasher/Horror? Oh God, I hope not.
Thriller? Please... have you seen The Departed? We can just pray that stuff like that doesn't happen. What's left? That's right: Drama. Drama is where life happens. If you watch a drama, those are real stories, stories that could happen somewhere, could happen to you. Horrifying, isn't it. The genre that relates to us the most is the one that makes us cry. What does that say about our lives?

It means that the things that matter in life are the ones that make you reach out to the person sitting next to you, the ones that make you cry, the ones that open your eyes wide in the understanding what's happening beneath the surface of the actors. That make you feel for them, for their stories and their emotions.

All genres have their place in our lives (except Slasher/Gore movies. I mean... come on. Someone who enjoys watching "Hostel" need psychological help.), but the ones that push us forward and make us understand our own lives better... those are dramas.

You would think that the webpage iheartmovies.com would be ideal for me, but I came to the conclusion that it's totally self-absorbed to put your movie library on the internet.

Take care and enjoy the sunshine :)

Lyrics of the day: Storytelling by Belle & Sebastian

Picture a scene in your mind
Looks at all the people and take note of the setting behind
Listen, watch, and wait
A plot begins to take shape
There's a story
And then characters will come to you
Relating events as they choose to
But all their words and actions come entirely from you

If you're a storyteller you might think you're without responsibility
And you can lead your characters anywhere you want
You have immunity

Have you considered the way
People might react to all the things that your characters say?
And are their actions hand in hand with what you want to portray?
Are you sick?
Are you crippled? Insane?
Expressing the desires that daren't speak their name?
Are you the one to be blamed?

Now you're a storyteller you might think you are without responsibility
But in directions, actions and words
Cause and effect
You need consistency

How can you finish the tale?
Lives which have played a part
Are summarized from the very start
And episodes left out to make it all go our way
"It's a might big world
Some of it I've seen
But mostly I've only heard
And stories are all fiction from their moment of birth"

You're just a storyteller
You're not trying to escape responsibility
If we believe you then you're successful
But you don't make claims of verity

Saturday 16 May 2009

Individual reality

You know that sometimes people are condescending. You know that, right? People (and by people I mean mostly others, but sometimes myself) tend to think that their conception of reality is the right one and others are mistaken. This happens especially with older people (e.g. parents) and younger people (e.g. childern).

Parents tend to think that they know better. That the children might think something or feel something, but they are of course wrong. This is apparent when the child first falls in love and gets his/her heart broken. It might feel like the end of the world for the child, but the parents say "Oh well, that's normal, it's not so bad, he'll survive, it'll all be better soon".

The point I want to make here is this. The reality of an individual is real. It's right. It might not be the end of the world for you, but it might feel like that for him. So for him it's real and it feels like the end of the world. Something might be exciting for him and you might find it boring, but that doesn't mean it IS boring. In his reality, it might be the most exciting thing in the whole wide world.

The reality of an individual is probably very different from yours, but that doesn't make it less real, worth less, less interesting.

This might all make sense, if you let it settle in your head and it could even be important to keep it in the back of your mind next time you roll your eyes at someone. Not that I would assume that my blog readers do such a thing, but... you know... I sometimes do.

Lyrics of the day: I don't want to wait by Paula Cole.

So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for Rye
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the peace in every eye

She had two babies
One was six months one was three
In the war of '44
Every telephone ring
Every heartbeat stinging
When she thought it was God calling her
Oh would her son grow to know his father

I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right now
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be
Sorry

He showed up all wet
On the rainy front step
Wearing shrapnel in his skin
And the war he saw
Lives inside him still
It's so hard to be gentle and warm
The years passed by and now
He had granddaughters

Oh so you look at me
From across the room
You're wearing your anguish again
Believe me, I know the feeling
It sucks you into the jaws of anger
Oh, so dig a little more deeply,
All we have is the very moment
And I don't want to do what
His father and his father and his father did
I want to be here now

So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the peace in every eye

So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see warmth in every eye

Monday 11 May 2009

Things people do

There are things I can do. You know... that I can do reasonably ok. These things are my job.

There are things I can do. You know... that I can do quite well. These things are my hobbies.

Wouldn't it be nice, if I could earn my moneyz by doing things I can do quite well? It would.

I got to thinking about this, because as you might (not) know, I have discovered blip.fm q few months ago and I love it :)

You can be the DJ of your own little channel and play music for people and I have so much fun doing that. Music is what I'm about. I could listen to music all day long and if I could earn money for that? Oi, that'd be nice. www.blip.fm/nichi

Also, I have discovered the charming TV show "Chuck", so I'm a bit occupied catching up :)

I'll see you soon, take care.

Lyrics of the day: Theme from Mahogany by Diana Ross

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to? Do you know?
Do you get what you're hoping for,
When you look behind you theres no open door?
What are you hoping for? Do you know?
Once we were standing still in time,
Chasing the fantasies that filled our minds.
You knew how Iloved you, but my spirit was free
Laughing at the questions that you once asked of me.
Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to? Do you know?
Now looking back at all we've had,
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands.
Why must we wait so long before we see,
How sad the answers to those questions can be?
Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to? Do you know?
Do you get what you're hoping for,
When you look behind you theres no open door?
What are you hoping for? Do you know?

Thursday 7 May 2009

Oh boy.

I have actually many things to tell you, but I don't know if I have the energy to write them all ;) or at least not in a text that I'd like (you) to read. I'll try anyway.

I just stubbed my big toe and it hurts now. Wait... that's actually not that interesting.

Today, I drove 4.5h to the northwest just to take a look at a building. Or rather some rooms in that building. That took an hour. I am home now and spent about 9-10h in a car just to look at empty rooms. Ok... that's totally not that interesting either. Not for me and not for you.

Now let's come to one of the more interesting parts. I took my first diving lesson on Wednesday and I loved it. But let me start at the very beginning (a really good place to start ;). I drove to the sports building of my uni for the first time and it was like right from a movie. I drove there, looked up, and there it was. All concrete, 70ies build, looked like a jail or an asylum that got deserted 10 years ago. Completely grown-in by vines and trees way up on a hill looking over the city. I was a bit frightened. And not only because I was going to do physical excercise.
I got my passport for the sememster, which was easy enough.
I was sitting there and waiting for the course to start and had some time to look at all the people taking classes in the centre. There were way more guys than girls (I guess guys like sports more than girls do?) and let me tell you something: It's one thing to wear comfortable clothes when doing sports, but when you're walking around, anything that allows you to jog in, stretch in, sweat in, roll in the mud in, without worries - is not acceptable.
After carrying the equipment down, we had to shower to prepare for the lesson. Now I would love to look at the other guys during showertime, I mean I don't get much nude time with guys as it is, but without glasses it's not really much fun. I can hardly see shapes and I can't see hard shapes, so what's the point. And also we got divided into 2 groups and the other one has all the cute guys. Yeah well... what can you do.
After showering, we learned how to use the equipent etc, interesting stuff. Diving is so much fun. One thing about me: I have a weird (and a bit fatal) trust in technology. I just took the mouthpiece, went under and breathed. Some were nervous, some were afraid. Some were cautios and tried it over the water. I just put it in my mouth and went down (that's what he said!). This trust will probably get me in trouble or hurt one day...

Then a very funny theory lesson (not) and by then I was sleepwalking... I had been up for 15h and it was just a lot. After the practical lesson: showertime again :) I seem like a pervert now, but there's something very nice about early-20ies guys. Sue me if you wish to. I tumbled to my car and got home somehow. Next day: wake up at 5am? Sure thing.

So how pretty is the picture I just took? The moon is sooo bright it's like a small sun. I love nights like these.

I hope you're allright and I'll see you soon.

Lyrics: Hope by slut.

hope that I can make it as it comes.
hope that I can make it like the other ones.
hope, I'm getting used to what I see.
hope, I'm getting used and get in touch with what I feel.
hope and wait to undergo,
what I just didn't want to know.
hope, that I will never break and fade.
hope, to show my face again
and get in touch with all of them.
hope, that I will make it everyday...
oh everyday...
I hope, that I can take away
a little piece of yesterday.
hope, that I will never break away.
hope to show my face again
and get in touch with you again.
hope, that I wil make it everyday...
oh everyday...
everyday...
oh everyday...
everyday...

Tuesday 5 May 2009

What is love?

Don't worry, I will not try to explain love to you in this post. Not that I could. I mean... I know how love feels like. Love for friends. For family. For a person. Love for hobbies, activities. Love for art. But more eloquent people than I am have written whole books about the topic.

I would like to tell you today, why I love my city and most importantly - why I know it loves me back.

The picture above shows you my city in the best possible light. The hills, lush with the spring green. Light falling from the sky that looks like angels are coming down to settle on the 58 churches (yes, 58 churches... in a town of 130.000). Old buildings and stores. Places, inviting you to spend an afternoon watching the passerbys. Stores that tell you they have been open for 351 years. Fortresses with engravings that tell you about the battles taking place 1500 years ago.

But it's not really all of these things that make me love my city. What makes me love it is the smell when it has rained on the marketplace in summer. The musicians that sit on the street and play. The crazy religious guy who shouts "Jesus is the saviour" in broken German. The sound of water under the old bridge when you cross the river. The lights that illuminate the buildings at night. The feeling to know the streets, but never know where a new shop has opened....

The question remains: How do I know that my city loves me back? The answer to this question is a bit difficult to frame, because it's a feeling. Have you ever loved someone and he didn't love you back? And have you ever loved someone and he loved you back? Until that moment, when you realize that he loves you back, you can't imagine what it would feel like and that it would make a difference... but it does. This feedback is something that I wouldn't have thought possible until roughly a year ago, but it is definitely there.

And when I look at the picture of my city, I know. I just know.

Lyrics of the day: Soon we'll be found by Sia

Come along it is the break of day

Surely now, you'll have some things to say

It's not the time for telling tales on me


So come along, it wont be long

'Til we return happy

Shut your eyes, there are no lies

In this world we call sleep

Let's desert this day of hurt

Tomorrow we'll be free


Let's not fight I'm tired can't we just sleep tonight

Don't Turn away it's just there's nothing left here to say

Turn around I know we're lost but soon we'll be found


Well it's been rough but we'll be just fine

Work it out yeah we'll survive

You mustn't let a few bad times dictate


So come along, it wont be long

'Til we return happy

Shut your eyes, there are no lies

In this world we call sleep

Let's desert this day of work

Tomorrow we'll be free


Let's not fight I'm tired can't we just sleep tonight

Don't turn away it's just there's nothing left here to say

Turn around I know we're lost but soon we'll be found


Monday 4 May 2009

Fahion is a state of mind


I was watching one of my favourite movies. One of my many, many favourite movies... "The Devil wears Prada". In it there's a quote about fashion designers:

What they created was greater than art, because you live your life in it.

This is... an interesting point of view and I appreciate it. I am a sucker for fashion. It's not that I really wear couture, because everytime I try something on with some funky colours or patterns, I look like a clown. But I appreciate couture for what it stands. A way of expressing yourself, of expressing your view of the world. A way of showing the progress the world has been experiencing and a view back to the history of fashion. It is important that some designs and coulours/patterns repeat themselves over time, but they never ever are the same. Ever! It's just a way of remembering and appreciating fashion history for what it did for us.

Ok... Fashion blog over.

I got the news today that I will spend Thursday in a car. Driving to a city where my boss wants to spend the next 5 years, then walk through an empty building, then drive back. With my boss in my tiny, tiny car. 7h of driving. I'm looking forward to that.

I would love to bore you with more details from my life, but I'm very tired and have a 10h work day tomorrow ending with a lovely presentation by yours truly. I'm telling you... when I'm finished with this job, I'll be really good at... whatever I'm doing.

Lyrics of the day: I hope that I don't fall in love with you by Tom Waits.

Well I hope that I dont fall in love with you
cause falling in love just makes me blue,
Well the music plays and you display
Your heart for me to see,
I had a beer and now I hear you
Calling out for me
And I hope that I dont fall in love with you.

Well the room is crowded, people everywhere
And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?
Well if you sit down with this old clown,
Take that frown and break it,
Before the evenings gone away,
I think that we could make it,
And I hope that I dont fall in love with you.

Well the night does funny things inside a man
These old tom-cat feelings you dont understand,
Well I turn around to look at you,
You light a cigarette,
I wish I had the guts to bum one,
But weve never met,
And I hope that I dont fall in love with you.

I can see that you are lonesome just like me,
And it being late, youd like some some company,
Well I turn around to look at you,
And you look back at me,
The guy youre with has up and split,
The chair next to yous free,
And I hope that you dont fall in love with me.

Now its closing time, the musics fading out
Last call for drinks, Ill have another stout.
Well I turn around to look at you,
Youre nowhere to be found,
I search the place for your lost face,
Guess Ill have another round
And I think that I just fell in love with you.

Sunday 3 May 2009

Things are like that. Or like that.

It is interesting to me that we sometimes are so thankful to be able to put things in boxes. Something is like that. Or like that. (Hence, the title of this blog entry). It makes our live easier, when we don't always have to think about something. We can look, judge, put it away and focus our attention and energy on something else.

In the picture above, it was about midnight, but you wouldn't have guessed, because looking out the window presented a landscape like you see... well in that pic. We like to judge something as day or as night, because it gives our lives rhythm, not because it's something solid or something imposed from the outside.

Yes, at night the sun is down and the moon is up. But is it always?

Yes, at night it's dark and during the day, it's light outside. What about the artic summer? Or nights like the one depicted above where the moon is brighter than the sun sometimes is?

I'm using examples that are a bit extreme to make you see that in every situation we encounter in our lives, things don't have to be as we initially judge them to be. Things don't always turn out to be the way they seem to us in the beginning. It's important to challenge ourselves, so that we don't just put our opinions, label them and stuff things in the labelled boxes. Things that might be something else if we allowed ourselves to look more closely. To examine the truth behind the exterior appearence.

Things. Places. Books. People. Most things deserve a closer look, most might suprpise you, if you delete the usual labels.

Lyrics of the day: Magic by Nick Drake.

I was born to love no one
No one to love me
Only the wind in the long green grass
The frost in a broken tree.

I was made to love magic
All its wonder to know
But you all lost that magic
Many many years ago.

I was born to use my eyes
Dream with the sun and the skies
To float away in a lifelong song
In the mist where melody flies.

I was made to love magic...

I was born to sail away
Into a land of forever
Not to be tied to an old stone grave
In your land of never.

I was made to love magic...

Saturday 2 May 2009

Oh, you know... typical day.

Well today was as usual a little stretch between the life that's a bit more me (meaning going to a coffee bar with a book, reading, some light shopping, enjoying the weather...) and a bit more "me, when I'm out in the country with the 'rents" (meaning climbing down a well to scrape up dirt in 1' of almost freezing water 20' underground).

Let my quote the Rocky Horror Picture Show: I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared.

That's how it's like in my life. I'm a country boy who enjoys wearing Dolce&Gabbana jeans. Maybe that's my niche?

Anyway... today I picked up some DVDs that I had made. I've been in musical performances in school and I only had those on VHS. So I had them burnt on DVD and I'll digitalize them on my computer :) Some performances were good, others weren't, but that's what it's about.

I'll go to my friend's birthday party in a little over an hour, but I have to catch some sleep till them or I'll pass out at 9pm. I'm such an old person ;)

I hope you're all feeling fine and I'll see you soon.



Lyrics: Rhymes and Reasons by John Denver

So you speak to me of sadness
And the coming of the winter
Fear that is within you now
It seems to never end
And the dreams that have escaped you
And the hope that you've forgotten
You tell me that you need me now
You want to be my friend

And you wonder where we're going
Where's the rhyme and where's the reason
And it's you cannot accept
It is here we must begin
To seek the wisdom of the children
And the graceful way of flowers in the wind

For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day

Like the music of the mountains
And the colours of the rainbow
They're a promise of the future
And a blessing for today
Though the cities start to crumble
And the towers fall around us
The sun is slowly fading
And it's colder than the sea

It is written from the desert
To the mountains they shall lead us
By the hand and by the heart
They will comfort you and me
In their innocence and trusting
They will teach us to be free

For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day

And the song that I am singing
Is a prayer to non believers
Come and stand beside us
We can find a better way